we are transreal ///………….. our identities cross realities
February 1st, 2009

a series of micro-transitions

maybe we can think of transition as
a series of micro-transitions
daily decisions and events that change us, ever so slightly
the decision to grow your hair out, or to change the way you wear it,
shopping for different jeans, shoes, bracelets.
they rush into the airport, with a few minutes to spare
and try to grab a beer and some nachos,
the waitress walks up and says “what can i get you ladies”.
walking out to a bar at night, crossing the street, some
male fuckhead aware of his own privilege yells
something about sluts at us as he drives by,
or boarding the plane back home, the stewardess says
“sir, um, miss, can you put your laptop under the seat”,
while we try to get Circus Linux to work on the in seat game console.
she tries out base for the first time, Smartshade from Clairol is what L uses,
so its okay that their skin colors are different,
it has some uncanny ability to match the shade of your face,
once you rub it in.
the base works, looking a bit softer, maybe, and less stubbly, hopefully.
they meet up with old friends at a bar in the mission,
BAR shining in bright red neon in the window,
and Rae says she looks great.
there must be nano-transitions as well, only visible through advanced technologies,
imperceptible shifts and rotations of neurochemicals.
the moments of change are small events, which
they point out to each other after they happen, laughing and feeling happy about them,
sharing tiny moments of transformation which are so huge,
resonating across a series of events, changing the meaning of all of them,
the unknown unfolding through micro-events,
refracting the color of the previous and future events into different hues, shades and gradations.

Post to Twitter

December 26th, 2008

Video of Becoming Dragon

from calit2…

Watch in HD here (it looks way better in HD)!

Post to Twitter

December 15th, 2008

Becoming Dragon Closing Reception / Party, Tues 8pm

Tuesday night, December 16th, will be the last night of my 365 hour durational performance, Becoming Dragon. To celebrate, I would like to invite you to join me in my space in Second Life and in Real Life at 8pm SLT for some casual hanging out, music and drinks.

Where: The Center for Research in Computing and the Arts (CRCA), Atkinson Hall, Visiting Artist Lab #1613 (directions here), UCSD, and in Second Life.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Seventh%20Eye/144/39/235

More info about Becoming Dragon, see:
http://secondloop.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/press-release-becoming-dragon-a-mixed-reality-durational-performance-in-second-life-opens-december-1st/

For the live blog of the performance see:
http://secondloop.wordpress.com

Post to Twitter

November 28th, 2008

notes on becoming, a bathroom mirror

coming out of the stall
rushing out of the bathroom
i glance back at the mirror for an instant
and i see a girl’s face
and i stop
and look back again.
i’m leaving work in a hurry to get back to the lab at school,
i’ve been crying, the office was empty and i was sending
emails to a lover about our changing relationship,
so maybe my eyes are puffy, softer,
i pause and look in the mirror
and wonder if i can see a girl in that face
again
and hope that i may some day
but there’s a way that you can look at a face closely
and the gender slips away.
sometimes when i look at pictures of trans people i try to look at their faces and see their birth gender, i think its an internalized transphobic habit i still have,
but sometimes i look at cisgender people’s faces and think they look trans
and wonder if they’re just passing really well
or if i’m just so gender dysphoric (or euphoric) that i can’t even see gender “right”
there is so much activity, in that act of seeing,
that is outside conscious thought and words,
the world shifts and pulses in front of the naked eye
as it is held open.

but right now, in this bathroom, its late, no one’s going to come in
and i look femmey today, so it should be safe,
i adjust my bag strap and look into my own eyes
and wonder if amidst all this hurry,
there’s a girl in the middle, emerging,
if all the people who call me man, guy, dude, he, mister,
might some day see me as something else.
some day soon.
but sometimes i don’t even care,
and those are times that matter,
passing moments in the bedroom,
sitting in bed talking,
walking past the mirror,
laughing in the bathroom.
because the people who love me and who i love
can see me for what i am
and that is not a man
and not a woman
but maybe a girl
and maybe something else.

Post to Twitter

November 24th, 2008

between questions now and answers then

THIS MEDICATION IS A PINK, ROUND, TABLET, SCORED
IMPRINTED WITH M ON ONE SIDE AND E 4 ON THE OTHER SIDE

are you going to move with me in june?

but what is going to happen to your body, and your brain?

i just can’t take this vague ambiguity in our relationship any more

i just feel like i’m going to be pushed to the side in the future

we need you to move your office to the new space…

where are you going to live in january? you know you could stay here if you want to…

what city do you want to move to?

i’m just afraid that you’re going to break my heart.

if you loved me you would want to move with me.

aren’t you going away in the summer?

it all seems to far away, so many variables, so many desires, so many questions, how could i possibly know what i’m going to do, if i barely even know what i want to do? i can only think a few weeks ahead, and i know that everything is about to change, and i’m so happy that it is, but i feel something like sylvia plath’s impending train wreck, gestating, birthing, walking into the unknown, terifying and wonderful…

so satisfied with the simple certainty of a bobby pin, a wet kiss and a long orgasm, anything more seems like wild speculation.

Post to Twitter

November 18th, 2008

Becoming Dragon, a mixed reality, durational performance in Second Life, opens December 1st

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Becoming Dragon, a mixed reality, durational performance in Second Life, opens December 1st

What: Performance in Second Life and at CRCA on the UCSD Campus
When: Beginning December 1st, 7pm, running for 365 hours, viewing hours, 11AM-7PM
Where: The Center for Research in Computing and the Arts (CRCA), Atkinson Hall, Visiting Artist Lab #1613, UCSD, and in Second Life at
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Seventh%20Eye/186/12/35
Contact: Micha Cárdenas, mcardenas A+ ucsd (d0T} edu

Becoming Dragon is a mixed reality, durational performance in Second Life, in CRCA’s Visiting Artist Lab #1613 of the Atkinson Hall building, on the UC San Diego campus. The opening begins at 7pm on December 1st, 2008 and the performance will run for 365 hours. The performance is Micha Cárdenas’ final MFA project.

Becoming Dragon questions the one year requirement of Real Life Experience that transgender people must fulfill in order to receive Gender Confirmation Surgery (Sexual Reassignment Surgery), and asks if this could be replaced by one year of Second Life Experience to lead to Species Reassignment Surgery. For the performance, Micha Cárdenas will live for 365 hours immersed in Second Life with a head mounted display, so that all she will see is Second Life and a motion capture system to map her movements into Second Life. The performance space will be open to the public for the duration, during the hours that the building is open, 9am to 7pm. During the entire duration of the performance Micha will stay in the performance space at CRCA and in Second Life.

Second Life is an online 3D virtual world, where users can create their own avatars in whatever form they like. It is not a goal oriented game, so its users refer to it as a metaverse or a MUVE, Multi User Virtual Environment. There are over 15 million registered users of Second Life. More information is available at http://secondlife.com

The Free Software/Open Source licensing of Second Life also provides a code base for modification, and a number of modifications have been made for Becoming Dragon. Kael Greco has patched the Second Life client to include an updated version of the stereoscopic code from the University of Michigan. For the duration of the performance, Micha will wear a Head Mounted Display (HMD) with stereoscopic display to simulate an actual 3 dimensional experience of Second Life by displaying a different image in each eye.

To further explore becoming as an embodied process and Second Life as a Mixed Reality Performance, Christopher Head has added code to the Second Life viewer to read live motion capture data from the Vicon motion capture system in the performance space. This code, along with scripts in Second Life allow the avatar’s movements to correspond to Micha’s movements. In Second Life, the performance will take place in a to-scale model of the actual performance space, to allow the performer to navigate that space over the duration of the performance.

A number of other modes of Mixed Reality will be included in the performance, including a live video feed from the lab into Second Life and 3D printouts of Second Life objects in the actual performance space. The performance space will also include an HD stereo projection of Second Life which visitors can see and interact with.

The project seeks to explore the shift from subjectivity to becoming, to examine the subject in transition, as opposed to a clearly defined identity. The choice of a dragon for an avatar is related to the history of dragons as magical creatures, able to shapeshift into different forms and teleport through space, well suited to Second Life. Dragons are also part of the large community of non-anthropomorphic avatars in Second Life, which are not easily limited to either male or female binary gender categories. The project seeks to explore the possibility for using mixed reality environments to construct new genders outside of the limitations of the male/female spectrum.

The performance is one stage of an ongoing investigation of the transformative potential of technology, inspired by artists such as Orlan and Stelarc. During the year of research and development of this project, Micha Cárdenas has begun her real life hormone replacement therapy and has been writing poetry and prose about the experience on her blog, http://technotrannyslut.com. This writing will be included in the performance of Becoming Dragon.

Second Life is being used as a networked, mixed reality platform. The massively multi-user nature of Second Life, with over a million users, allows an exploration of online public space, becoming as a process of social feedback and the subject in transition as the subject in transmission.

Becoming Dragon is receiving support from the Center for Research in Computing and the Arts, CalIT2, University of California Institute for Research in the Arts, Ars Virtua, the gallery@calit2, the b.a.n.g. lab and the Embodied Cognition Lab of the cognitive Science Department.

Artist Bios

Micha Cárdenas is an MFA candidate at the University of California San Diego. Micha holds a Master’s degree in Media and Communications with distinction from the European Graduate School and a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science from Florida International University. She is a researcher at CalIT2 and CRCA and is currently working at inSite on their video archive. Her interests include the interplay of technology, gender, sex, desire and resistance. Micha is a transgender, genderqueer media artist, theorist and trouble maker. Micha is a founding member of a number of art/activism collectives including Sharing Is Sexy, the borderlands Hacklab and the City Heights Free Skool. Micha is the performer and technical and artistic director of Becoming Dragon.

Kael Greco is an M.F.A candidate and researcher at CalIT2 at UCSD. His research focuses on space and its representation through computation; how cities, territories, landforms are processed and understood as datasets. Kael’s work has been exhibited across the country, from gallery shows in NYC (most recently at Apex Art) to technology conferences in Southern CA (a featured exhibitor in the 2007 O’Reilly Emerging Technology Conference). His work has also been seen in publications such as Engadget and Glowlab. Kael Greco holds Bachelor Degrees in Computer Science, Mathematics and Art from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Kael has ported the stereoscopic code for Becoming Dragon.

Christopher Head is a software artist and MFA student at the University of California San Diego. Much of his work focuses on the intersection of software design and art practice to produce projects that take a variety of forms including computer visualization, simulation, games, and hardware hacking. Christopher received his Bachelor of Fine Arts from San Jose State University while working in the CADRE Laboratory for New Media. While at SJSU he also participated in the ISEA2006/ZeroOne festival as part of the Montalvo Arts Center visiting artist residency with Antoni Muntadas as well as a series of exhibitions and shows within the SJSU Art Department. Christopher has written the motion capture code for Becoming Dragon.

Benjamin Lotan received his BS in cognitive science from the University of California at San Diego in 2008 specializing in Human Computer Interaction. His past research has been supported by Calit2, CRCA, and the Embodied Cognition Lab. He now works as an interaction designer and documentary filmmaker in San Diego. Benjamin is working on documentation for Becoming Dragon.

Anna Storelli is an Undergraduate in the Visual Arts Department at the University of California San Diego. She studies a broad spectrum from computer technology to film and video to traditional studio art, while exploring the intermixing of traditional mediums with digital media. She worked as a graphic artist for an interactive flash-based website, Earthguide.ucsd.edu, in partnership with Scripps Institute of Oceanography. Now she does production work for Warner Brothers Entertainment Co., DC Comics, assisting all aspects of pre-press preparation for the Wildstorm/CMX comic lines. She plans to finish her degree in Bachelor of Fine Arts by 2010. Anna is working on 3D modeling and 3D printing for Becoming Dragon.

See the performance in Second Life here:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Seventh%20Eye/186/12/35

Read Micha’s live blogging from Second Life during the performance at:
http://secondloop.wordpress.com

Hours and Location:
CRCA, Atkinson Hall, Room 1613
Hours: 11am-7pm, Opening Dec. 1, 2008, 7pm,
Continuing for 365 hours, roughly 3 weeks

First Floor, Atkinson Hall
University of California, San Diego
9500 Gilman Drive
La Jolla, CA 92093
Map & Directions: http://atkinsonhall.calit2.net/directions/

Read more at:
http://secondloop.wordpress.com
http://sharingissexy.org/wiki/Becoming_Dragon
http://technotrannyslut.com/category/becomingdragon/
http://flickr.com/photos/azdelslade

http://flickr.com/photos/lotu5/sets/72157606067246259/

http://delicious.com/lotu5/becomingdragon

Post to Twitter

November 14th, 2008

notes on becoming, 2mg estradiol

how quickly things are new

is that just the estrogen talking?
she says and buries her head in the pillow.
its amazing how fast things turn around,
in just a week
i feel things for her that i can barely describe
and i’m afraid of the words that do want to come out.
after so much sweat and saliva and groaning
she says she’s afraid
for my health
she finally researched my meds
and she’s worried about me
and she’s worried that i’ll become someone else
that she’s falling in love with someone who’s disappearing.
i wish i had an answer
i don’t.

i am becoming someone else
but aren’t we all?
always becoming
creating false labels for moments
that we’re outgrowing as we speak them
learning, creating, building, slipping into our new selves
every moment?
position is an illusion, thinking of bergson in bed
but position is also an orgasm, which is not so illusory
i said to a guy at a party
have you ever met someone who turns everything in your whole life upside down
who changes everything?
i didn’t know he just showed up because he heard the music
and then as he hesitated to reply i got pulled back onto the dance floor

she says through her tears that she gets it
she’s always checked the other box for ethnicity
and always thought there shouldn’t even be a box,
i just look at her as she says it
in a moment of wet motion, tears and hair in her eyes,
and a moment of slow, painful, longing movement
in myself and everywhere in the world

Post to Twitter

October 14th, 2008

notes on psychoneuroendocrinology, 100mg spironolactone

so lost in and inspired by myguerrilla’s photos… thank you.

what does 100mg of spironolactone feel like?
it feels like i’m not confident about anything,
grad school, my project, my body, my choices, this.
its scary to even admit that feeling, to anyone,
scary and also dangerous, for a trans person to admit any doubt.

what combination of chemicals move what part of my body to create a
sensation of confidence?
it feels like i’m tired all the time.
i try to think about what i’m feeling,
and i think maybe i’m depressed?
i feel constantly reflective,
sensitive to every tiny movement inside myself…

“The research of Verhaeghen and colleagues shows when people are in a reflective mode, they may become more creative, depressed, or both. Previous research shows that when people are in a ruminating mode, they are more likely to be depressed, he said.

“If you think about stuff in your life and you start thinking about it again, and again, and again, and you kind of spiral away in this continuous rumination about what’s happening to you and to the world — people who do that are at risk for depression,” he said. ”

in Carnal Art: Orlan’s Refacing by C. Jill O’Bryan, I read

“Orlan substitutes her body for language so that she performs this fiction as though a live signifier; shifting shape, her face does not literally articulate a fixed identity: “I make myself into a new image in order to produce new images.” Derrida’s term auto-affection– a substitute for self-presence, that which, he claims, we can never purely know– comes closest to describing human experience at this level.. Auto-affection is the state of giving-oneself-a-presence… Derrida writes: …Hearing oneself speak is not the interiority of an inside that is closed in upon itself; it is the irreducible openness in the inside; it is the eye and the world within speech. Phenomenological reduction is a scene, a theater stage.”

Can I write this? What does it mean to engage in this process of reflecting
on the changing chemistry in my body,
which makes me feel something else?

“Much like the paradigms installed by the discovery of endorphins, Being-on-drugs indicates that a structure is already in place, prior to the production of that materiality we call drugs, including virtual reality or cyberprojections.”
- Avital Ronell, Crack Wars

Finally a cloudy cold day in San Diego.
Riding my bike I’m so grateful for the cold wind.
The light is blue-grey, instead of the usual yellow pounding socal sun.
Its a bit more lke how I feel.
I’m happy to feel something,
even if it feeling a little fucked up, like Ariana’s cow,
but her poems are so much better than this one.
I hear Sarah McLaughlin’s Adia and feel cliche,
even though I remember crying to this song,
heartboken over that blonde girl with the sun faded neck tattoo in miami.
A friend of mine told me that her transgirl roommate would cry and cry.
I feel much more still, listening,
waiting for change, looking down at my breasts,
like a 14 year old girl,
trying to eat a lot, hoping for them to grow.
smiling in the mirror, seeing if i look cuter that way, more feminine?
maybe i’m just too fucking self-absorbed.

How do your hormones make you feel? I want to hear about it. Post a comment!

Post to Twitter

August 11th, 2008

notes on becoming, 6 weeks of hormones

People have been asking me how the hormones are going lately, and I’ve been meaning to write more, but I haven’t gotten around to it. So, I’m just going to write a bit so I don’t forget these things!

Sandy Stone, who teaches at EGS and I’ve had the good fortune to have class with and correspond with a bit, warned me that once the “high wears off”, that I would need time to rest and recuperate from all the emotional ups and downs and the growth, and she was totally right. Lately, I really appreciate the moments I get to rest and sit and be quiet, and I’ve definitely needed down time, processing time and time to think. Fortunately, I just moved, with J, into a new studio in South Park. Its just us and its really quiet, even if it is small, but I love it. Its a perfect study/artmaking/lovemaking/thinking den.

I’ve also been meaning to write a “notes on psychoneuroendocrinology 2″, but I’ll just include it here. I realized, when we were moving into this new place, that I felt differently. My whole life, I’ve always felt like an orphan, a nomad, like I didn’t care about my home, it was just a place to store stuff and sleep. My laptop’s hard drive is named nomad. I made a film about Deleuze’s figure of the urban nomad [Okupa!]. It was something I always felt, like I was happy being ready to move at any moment. But now, strangely, I have this serious attachment to this little studio. I love it. It’s so strange to me. I don’t want to think that it’s just the estrogen, perhaps its because I’m getting older, or perhaps its because of all the drama I had in the last year, or perhaps because I’m really into reading and writing lately. I know that a major part of feminism is arguing that people should not be determined by their biology, and I support that. Still, I am realizing, that for me, changing my hormonal balance has changed how I think and feel about things on a deep level.

I wrote in a previous entry about feeling like my hearing was different, somehow closer to me. I also feel, perhaps, more centered? More like I carry my own world with me. I actually feel like I’m operating at a slightly slower or longer wavelength, and that the world has less of an effect on me, its more something that I let in, than something that propels me along. All of this is strange, kind of Heideggerian, but I’m doing my best to describe how I feel like I’ve changed. Its only been 6 weeks, but I definitely feel different.

I read an MtF person who said that they felt like taking estrogen “took the edge off”, and I feel that way. I’ve even had experiences lately specifically around teaching, around helping my friend edit her essay, that went much better than they had before. I just felt less emotional up and down in the process, which resulted in me being more patient, more willing to listen. Again, its strange that these moments change for me, and I didn’t realize it until after it was done, but my whole life I’ve had a hard time helping lovers out with their homework. I had so many arguments with previous girlfriends over how I helped them edit their essays. I never wanted to admit it, but I guess I was too critical, too harsh, too emotional about it. I’m not saying these changes are independent of social conditioning either, of course, I can’t pretend I can be outside of the conditioning I’ve grown up with. I’m just saying that these changes seem to be pretty subtle, and haven’t been conscious. I’m also not saying these things are true for anyone but myself. I’m just sharing, with you, my becoming…

On the physical side, I’m just starting to notice a bit of change. I’m like what I imagine a 13 year old girl to be like, looking in the mirror everyday, checking, hoping my boobs will grow, but there’s not much change there, yet. Hah. But, I’ve been so hungrey lately, and eating a lot to avoid the nausea that came in the first few weeks with the estrogen. The nausea’s mostly gone, but my clothes are starting to fit a little differently. One of the main effects of hormones is that the fat on your body is supposed to redistribute to a more female form, mostly in the hips and ass. Last week I actually noticed that two of my panties didn’t fit right any more, they were both too tight. Yesterday I noticed that my jean shorts that I bought at the beginning of the summer are much tighter now. So yes, its happening…

Post to Twitter

July 11th, 2008

Dreaming of Molly Millions, the Panther Moderns and Body Hacking

UPDATE: Learn more about my thesis project exploring
Species Change Surgery, Becoming Dragon | Video | Photos | Updates

Dreaming of Molly Millions, the Panther Moderns and Body Hacking

“It was the style that mattered and the style was the same. The Moderns were mercenaries, practical jokers and nihilistic technofetishists.

The one who showed up at the loft door with a box of diskettes from the Finn was a soft-voiced boy called Angelo. his face was a simple graft grown on collagen and shark-cartilage polysaccharides, smooth and hideous. It was one of the nastiest pieces of elective surgery Case had ever seen. When Angelo smiled, revealing the razor-sharp canines of some large animal, Case was actually relieved. Toothbud transplants. He’d seen that before.”

- William Gibson, Neuromancer

See this real neko interviewed in the trailer for the film Flesh and Blood, about suspension and new forms of body modification.

Looking back at William Gibson’s Neuromancer, I wonder, why has so much geek energy and time gone into creating one aspect of his vision in the book, cyberspace, and not others, like body hacking? Yes, I know that Vernor Vinge came up with the concept of Cyberspace before Gibson, but Gibson’s book is the one most often cited as a huge cultural influence at the root of contemporary cyberculture. I recently read the phrase “the Gibson generation”, and I think I’m not part of it. Sure, I read Gibson, but I dislike these generational names, as if there was a clear marker, and if anything, I hope I’m part of the generation after the Gibson generation, but the quote above about the Panther Moderns gives me pause.

Biotechnology, as it exists today, is still surely limited, and often makes claims much greater than it can actually achieve, such as feeding and feuling the world. The food riots around the world should attest to this fact. Changing global economic policies and encouraging local sustainable food production instead of structural adjustment policies which promote export crops is much more likely to solve the world’s hunger problem than rice which has been genetically engineered to have more nutrients and terminator seeds that farmers have to pay for every year.

Still, there are major advances in biotechnology that are undeniable. Today we have face transplants, cybernetic limbs that move at will and manufactured organisms like Synthia. So, why are these advances only happening in multimillion dollar laboratories? Where is our Apple IIs of biology? And, our garage hackers aren’t using HP calculators, but quad processor machines with 2 gigs of memory, so what else might come out of a garage?

The term body hacking seems to have been coined by Quinn Norton, to describe low cost, DIY approaches to body modifying medical procedures. While some have taken her claims to mean that there might be a “second enlightenment”, I think that the first one did enough damage to our relationships with our bodies, thank you. I’d prefer to hope that more widespread body hacking might lead to new genders, new forms of expression, new ways of being and new relationships with our bodies that can slip out of the grip of biopower by not registering in the protocols of control that biopower works through.

Where can we see body hacking today? There are lots of examples that have been around for a long time of DIY body modification, like tattooing, scarification and piercing. But I would argue that hacking is often engaged with exploring technology and its potentials and ramifications, so we might see contemporary body hacking as novel or unexpected uses of technologies which modify the body. One example of this are the botox parties that the media is fond of talking about where people inject their friends with botox at parties to remove wrinkles. This is perhaps not a very liberatory use of body hacking, as it seems concerned with meeting the demands of biopower, of common beauty standards, at the risk of personal danger. Yet perhaps we can think of prolonging the beauty of youth as fundamentally changing the conditions of culture? I’m avoiding the use of the term “human condition” here intentionally, since it is my hope that body hacking might broaden the notion of what we think human is. Too often the word human, as in human rights, leaves out marginalized groups, often in the service of the economy. Who is human today? Who was yesterday? Still, I’m not sure about botox. I think there is a lot to be said about the ethical differences between cosmetic treatments like botox and surgical procedures that transgender people get and other forms of body modification, and the role of agency, oppression and biopolitical norms.

Perhaps we might see a merging of body hacking and computer hacking practices emerge. In Neuromancer, they seem to both be equally common. Molly injects herself with “endorphin analog” whenever she needs some. Today, the military is experimenting with using fear reducing drugs in conjunction with virtual reality as a treatment for PTSD, but this is not an everyday application. With today’s virtual reality technology, it seems like Dramamine will be a lot more common than endorphin inhibitors as a treatment for Simulator Sickness.

So, what is preventing a broader body hacking practice from developing? The technology is cheaply available. I found lots of medical supplies at an educational store in San Diego. Surely artists are paving the way in this kind of experimentation. Yet why aren’t there more body hackers? Why does saying to someone “i’m a body hacker” seem to imply more that you’re a psychopathic killer than that you’re part of an emerging culture of knowledge exploration, challenging the limits and definition of knowledge itself?

Perhaps it is a question of “critical mass”, that people need to just start doing it, if they’re interested, to create a culture of body hacking. Synthetic biologist Drew Endy at MIT thinks that what we need is a biohacker culture, using freely available software and protein and genome databases to imagine new lifeforms and new biological possibilities. The scifi blog io9.com even recently announced a contest using the Biobricks platform to design a new lifeform, nudging this emerging area along.

Culture was definitely a major part of how I got into hacking. I remember sharing a deep friendship with my buddy who I used to dumpster dive for passwords with and try out phracking software late at night at payphones around Miami. 2600 magazine was a very functional part of the culture and starting the Miami 2600 meeting was such an exciting part of “being a hacker” for me. I think that wanting to “be a hacker”, a major part of why I went into computer science, was tied up with my identity and my conception of myself and having that conception reinforced socially. Note the large number of geek joke t-shirts that I still own, like the 8008135 calculator and the “there are only 10 types of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don’t”. Yes, those shirts both have a hugely different meaning for me today, but geek t-shirts do attest to the cultural currency of geekness and hacking. Even Kevin Mitnick, who is one of the most well known crackers, admits that much of what he did was social engineering, impersonating IT people over the phone. When I read John Markoff’s book Cyberpunk as a young aspiring hacker, one of my favorite stories was of the woman in one of the hacker groups described in the book who would sleep with members of the air force to go through their wallets for passwords while they slept. I don’t remember the exact group name, and I wonder if the story is true.

Libidinal economies must have a large role in body modifications, as well. There are cultural refrences for what tattoos and piercings mean, including sexual attitudes. But how does a cat person fit into the libidinal economy? There must be a point at which it goes beyond novelty and people decide on their sexual relation to these new kinds of bodily expression. Queer and transgender communities are a place where one can clearly see this at work. Often one chooses a particular gender expression to attract a particular person, but in queer communities, one can see clearly the shifting of these choices and the multiple intersections of gender and sexuality at play, with shifting intensities, in any given room, say at an event at the Rubber Rose in San Diego. This kind of sexual economy can act as a limiting factor on new forms of gender and bodily expression if one finds it hard to find those who are attracted to a particular expression. Yet it can also be a driving factor when one encounters a community rich with a diversity of expressions and possibilities.

Another place we can see body hacking today, that has been around for a long time, is in the transsexual community. While some argue as to whether or not transsexual body modification is just meeting the demands of patriarchy and western beauty standards, I personally think it is a form of resistance to them. A major part of biopower, in my view, is to ensure that you are limited to the body that you’re given, and so changing it disrupts the way biopower functions. If “women” and “people of color” are more exploited in contemporary society, which I definitely believe they are, then how does biopower continue to function if anyone can change their gender or skin color on a daily basis? Transgender people have been hacking psychiatric and medical systems for years. It is widely known that psychiatric tests of transgender people that have been required are ineffective because transgender people know what answers to give to get what they want. Similarly, transgender people are often known to get hormones outside of the medical establishment, even though this may be dangerous. How does this kind of hacking arise? From social exchanges within the transgender community, from people sharing knowledge of how to beat an oppressive system which takes away their agency over their bodies. Hopefuly, as body hacking culture emerges and grows, we will see a day in the future where people have more freedom and control over their bodies. If people want to spend their days as Nekos or Orcs or fantasize about having cybernetic eye implants to improve their vision, how long will it be before people start doing it?

Another factor here is our attitudes towards health care, which are totally broken. The current models of health care at work in the United States promote a model where the doctor is the only person with valid medical knowledge and the patient should just take their pills and shut up. Clearly, this is impossible, since the patient knows best about their own lives and bodies and the doctor can only ask questions. This is exactly what Guattari was writing about with the concept of transversality, the relationship of the psychoanalyst to the patient. Guattari proposes in the essay “Transversality”, which he describes as:

“opposed to:

(a) verticality, as described in the organogramme of a pyramidal structure (leaders, assistants, etc);
(b) horizontality, as it exists in the disturbed wards of a hospital, or even more, in the senlie wards; in other words a state of affairs in which things and people fit in as best they can within the situation in which they find themselves.

Think of a field with a fence around it in which there are horses with adjustable blinkers: the adjustment of the blinkers is the ‘coefficient of transversality’. If they are adjusted as to make the horses totally blind, then presumably a certain traumatic form of encounter will take place. Gradually, as the flaps are opened, one can envisage them moving about more easily.”

Guattari goes on to explain the notion as an attempt to get out of established roles like patient and doctor and to facilitate communication across all levels of a group, resulting in more, better information. I think that this describes the situation within cyberculture or network culture well, where the myth of the Apple garage is well known and it is expected that anyone can come up with a good idea and radically change the industry. While that myth may not be applicable in this well developed stage of the internet economy, examples like GNU/Linux continue to prove it’s value. Today, one can see this kind of deterritorialized knowledge production emerging in biology with body hacking, biohacking and even undergraduate students forming new biological fields like comparative proteogenomics.

The subrosa cyberfeminist collective have discussed how early witch hunting was closely related to the establishment of medical institutions of power and had the stated goal of stopping women from spreading their medical and sexual knowledge. subrosa’s book states that “The Malleus Maleficarum (Hammer of Witches) was the manual for witch-hunters. As defined in this book the crimes of the witches were: religious heresy, being sexually active, organizing women, having magical powers of healing and hurting, possessing medical and obstetrical skills and knowledge.” Many contemporary moves toward DIY health care and holistic medicine aim at recovering these lost pathways to knowledge. As we rethink the meaning of scientific knowledge in our contemporary art and acivist practices, we can rethink who is and isn’t a scientist, as subrosa’s book goes on, “the witch was the scientist of her time, while the Church still believed in the mumbo-jumbo of prayer… The banishing of common (and female and people’s) knwoledge gained from centuries of inquiry, experimentation, and practice, represents one of the greatest losses to the medical and scientific world in Western history.”

“‘There is always a point at which the terrorist ceases to manipulate the media gestalt. A point at which the violence may well escalate, but beyond which the terrorist has become symptomatic of the media gestalt itself. Terrorism as we ordinarily understand it is innately media-related. The Panther Moderns differ from other terrorists precisely in their degree of self-consciousness, in their awareness of the extent to which media divorce the act of terrorism from the original sociopolitical intent…’

‘Skip it,’ Case Said…” - Neuromancer, William Gibson

It’s very interesting that Gibson makes the Panther Moderns, one of the most overtly political characters in the novel, some of the most biologically modded characters as well. Surely the situation with biology today is ripe for hacking. With the human genome sequenced and many more genomes being sequenced every week and massive computing power cheaply available, there is a massive opportunity for people to explore the possibilities of biotechnology and of their own bodies. While so much remains unknown, like the way that proteins unfold and act independently of genetic determinations, I’m personally still hoping for the garage body hackers to radically change the potential of what we can physically “be”, and not just hoping, but working on it myself…

Body Modification artist Steve Haworth says, “If they come after me, I’m gonna fight em, tooth and nail. I’m an artist.” While the potential is still scary to people, much of that fear is rooted in ideas of the sanctity of the flesh, ultimately rooted in religious beliefs that are totally insignificant to many of us. Given the way that the body is seen as an “emerging market area” and the law enforcement applications of bioinformatics, the contemporary power structure will definitely find this new kind of hacking scary and discourage it. But hasn’t that always been an important part of the role of the hacker? To challenge power?

Post to Twitter














Powered by Wordpress using the theme bbv1